juliehawrishok.com

What’s happening with spammers?

My news section gets a lot of spam. Like, a ton. I bet it gets more spam than Hawaii. (In case you didn’t know, residents of Hawaii consume more Spam than populations anywhere else in the world. They pack back more than four million cans every year … about twelve cans of Spam per person per year.)

Anyway, I have handy spam filters which catch it all and prevents it from clogging up my site. Though the spam never reaches my audience, I get to see them all.

Long ago, spam tended to be a list of links, mostly for erectile dysfunction drugs, painkillers and all sorts of transsexual midget porn. Now it seems that spammers are getting a sense of humour – and maybe even some enlightenment.

I had a spam message that actually made me laugh out loud. It recounted the “achievements” of Wilt (the Stilt) Chamberlain, from his on court battles (his double-triple-double) to his boudoir conquests (20,000?) At the end, my logic thought that it might be a spam message for an erectile dysfunction drug. Nope. It was for cheap watches. Huh? Either way, random and odd but funny. I still deleted it.

Lately I’ve been bombarded with the one I call “Le Spammeur.” Le Spammeur is peddling some painkiller drug of which I’ve never heard. That part is boring and getting old, fast. The thing that drew me to read more into Le Spammeur’s message was the fact that he is French. How do I know he is French? He told me so. His actual words were, “I am from France. I drink wine and eat frogs!” Oh, bein oui! J’aime ça! I promptly deleted Le Spammeur’s message but I’m sure he’ll be back.

I’m also starting to wonder if spammers are thinking too much about what they are doing. Some pseudo-philosophical musings have come up in recent messages, including this one: “If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.”

Wow. How deep. All of that profound thought and for what purpose? Well, judging by the related links, the purpose has got to be Motorola ring tones! I guess if I click on the link, I can get some nifty ring tones AND maybe find my way to paradise in a few years.

–Julie

Can you believe that there’s only one weekend left until the Christmas weekend begins? While this year seems to have flown by, I have, as of today, completed about 85 percent of my holiday shopping. The tree is up. There’s eggnog in the fridge. We’re ready to go!

So you’d think this would be an odd time to do some spring cleaning, right? Well, I’m in the midst of that as well. I was getting a little sick of my office. I spend so much time here that I want it to be comfortable. I don’t want to get tired of sitting here for hours on end. I want a place where I can brainstorm, read the paper, have (gasp!) options.

I Freecycled a lot of old furniture that was in here – stuff that was leftover from the move. (The move was over two years ago but I never got rid of the crap and started to accumulate more and more on a seemingly daily basis.)

So now there’s less furniture crap and more unclassified crap. But I’m getting there. The art prints I finally ordered arrived. (One Steadman, one Basquiat – very cool.) My closet is pretty organized but stuffed with Christmas presents. My filing is relatively up to date. But there’s a glooming hole in the room. Despite getting rid of furniture, I want more. Why not have a brainstorming futon? Or a newspaper-reading chaisse?

I suppose, with Christmas now only 15 days away, I should wait. My cat-scratched leather chair will have to do for now.

Any tips or ideas for a comfortable and welcoming office space would be greatly appreciated!

-Julie.

Blogs are supposed to be regularly updated, right? Oops! That’s something I nearly forgot about since implementing my blog system.

I wish I could say that I’ve been off on a whirlwind trip across Eastern Europe or been recording an album or really anything terribly riveting. But, sadly, I’d just be lying.

I have been busy with work which has eaten up most blogging time I’ve had. Oh, and I deep cleaned my office so it’s a little more inviting now. What’s the saying about a cluttered room and a cluttered mind? Or am I making things up again?

As I said, I’ve been working on a lot of stuff lately. Some commercial stuff which you should see here soon. Some corporate stuff which is proving to be challenging, stimulating, exciting and scary all at once.

And hockey season started again, too. The Senators aren’t off to the start we’d all hoped – and expected – they’d have but we have faith. It’s a marathon not a sprint, right? Right?

So that’s what’s going on over here. I’ve been having steadily increasing numbers of visitors to the site. If you’re a real person and you’re reading this, drop me a line to let me know what you think. It would be nice to know that it’s not just bots out there!

-Julie.

I’m but a few days away from my birthday. I’m not nearly as excited about this one as I was about my tenth birthday or my 16^th. Or my 20^th. Or even my 21^st.

As we age, I suppose birthdays are more of a reminder of our mortality and our aging than a day to get presents. I’m still alive, happy and in relatively good standing, all things considered. However, I am starting to worry about the caloric and fat content of a birthday cake that I’m not even sure I will have.

I’m not generally one of those women who fears aging and worries about worry and smile lines. Instead, each year I tell myself that this might be the year that people start taking me seriously. (Has it happened yet? Hmm, I’m not too sure.) I don’t really care about stopping the aging process and reverting back to my youth once I hit 30. (Or is it 40 now? 50? I’m so out of the loop, it’s not even funny.)

One of my dearest friends is a year older than me. She went through quite the personal struggle at her quarter-century mark. I’ve heard similar tales of stress, disenchantment and emotional freefall from an alarmingly high number of people after hitting their quarter-century mark. What is it about this age? I’m starting to get a bit paranoid that on my birthday, there will be some synaptic process in my brain that changes me. Maybe I’ll suddenly start wearing aprons around the house, forget my cats’ names or dye my hair blue. Will varicose veins show up overnight? Will I have to invest in adult diapers?

I say this mostly in jest. I’m looking forward to seeing what another year brings me – or what I bring to another year. But all of these horror stories kind of freak me out. Please tell me that I’ll wake up the day after my birthday and be the same person. Please?

(Or just lie and tell me that anyway. Only you’ll know the truth.)

-Julie.

If you’re reading my blog and don’t know what I’m talking about, please log off and check out the news.

At the moment, most details are still sketchy but this much is known: at least one gunman started shooting people in Montréal’s Dawson College. Different news agencies are reporting different numbers in terms of deaths and injuries, but regardless of the actual carnage, it’s a scary, scary thing.

A friend of mine goes to Dawson. After phone calls, emails, instant messages all returned with no answer, worry set in. The loops of footage on CBC, CTV, TVA, RDI all showed complete chaos. Scanning the crowd for my friend, it got even worse.

Apparently Montréal is still in disarray, about five hours later. Motive? Who knows. Is the Metro really shut down? I am not sure. How many gunmen were there? *Shrugs*

I still don’t know what to think. It smacks of Marc Lepine which is frightening in itself. School should be a safe place, not a place where you can get shot.

Finally got in touch with our friends: the one who goes to Dawson and her boyfriend. She is fine though was at school this afternoon. Needless to say, she is shaken up. But she’s alive.

-Julie.

I must be one of the only people in my generation without a MySpace page. I don’t have an Ipod or a cellphone either. To many people, the lack of these three apparently integral pieces of life makes me a Luddite. O, the horrors! They ask how I can function without being tapped into Murdoch’s web of connections, or without mp3s surging into my head or without having a phone buried in my purse.

Truth be told, I’m quite happy without any of the three.

I did browse through MySpace yesterday and found alumni listings from my high school. While many (the majority, in fact) of the people with pages were students who attended the school long after I graduated, there were a few of my classmates and classmates from a year or two ahead or behind. Their pages tended to lack substance. They had busy backgrounds and lists of people they want to meet, what movies they like and slideshows of past escapades at various bars and clubs around the world. I don’t know, but that’s not the impression I want to give.

There have been news stories about how employers search for prospective employees’ MySpace pages. Having a never-ending photographic account of your table dancing in Vegas or your pub crawl in Dublin is probably more likely to hurt than to help.

So, I’ll stick with my own site’s blog. That’s not hypocritical at all, is it?

-Julie.

Currently in Ontario it’s extremely difficult to find a doctor, whether a specialist, a GP or anyone in between. I’ve been on a futile search now for three years and have been left only with a doctor who should be the spokesperson for “Bad Beside-Manners ‘R’ Us.” So, I’ve dumped him.

You might wonder why, in these times of doctor shortages, I’d dump a doctor when the repercussions mean that I can no longer see a health professional. Let’s review my many reasons:

1. The first time I met him was for a consultation. I assumed he was going to take my medical history, weigh me, check my height, maybe order some blood work. Instead, he took one look at me and said, “Stop eating so much poutine.” How do you react to that? I was shocked. It’s not as though I eat it daily, or even monthly. I should have realized that this was a sign … a sign to get out of there ASAP.

2. He told me at every visit that I should get married. I wasn’t aware that doctors were now doling out relationship advice. If I wanted to hear someone tell me about how important it is for me to be married, I would have called my mom, not gone to see my doctor.

3. After seeing him every few months for two years, I expected that he might have a clue as to who I am. I guess I expected too much from him. One afternoon, I went into his office and he said, “Hi Judy. How’s Brian? Did you have a good drive up from Belleville? How are your new medications working?” Huh? I’m not Judy. I know no Brians. I don’t live in Belleville. I wasn’t on any new medications. I told him that I am Julie, not Judy and he tried to argue with me. “No you’re not,” he said. “I have the chart right here. You’re Judy.”

Many people don’t believe me when I tell them of my ordeals with this doctor. I’m afraid it’s all true. Through my years of seeing him, I received better information and more comfort from the Internet. Since I’ve not been able to see another doctor since “The Separation”, I’ve got a really bad impression of health professionals now. Hopefully one day, I’ll find someone who proves me wrong and re-instills my faith in doctors.

If, for some reason, there’s a doctor in the Ottawa-area who is reading this, please call me! I’m not seeing any one doctor right now.

-Julie.

I was recently taking an updated inventory of “stuff” we own for insurance purposes. Sifting through the scads of serial numbers and stacks of receipts was an overwhelming process, one which is not yet complete. (Though would-be robbers please take note: I am still insured. It’s not worth breaking into the house. Even if you did, you’d likely be disappointed with the haul.)

How did we get so much stuff? I moved to Ontario seven years ago with two suitcases and that’s it. Our first apartment was furnished with some new things, some hand-me-downs and some good, cheap, reliable IKEA wares. When we bought the house, we had to take photos of everything in the apartment so that the movers could provide an adequate estimate. We certainly didn’t have as much stuff then – just two years ago – as we do now.

We’re not materialistic people at all. I, in fact, don’t really like expensive designer things because I will probably lose or break them. (Sunglasses come to mind here; I’m sure someone out there can relate.) Despite our reasonably practical ways of life, we still have this issue of accumulating stuff. (I will keep calling it “stuff” as that’s what it really is; it’s not entirely practical things or even all impulse buys… just “stuff” we picked up over the years.)

The reason for this abundance could be one of two things: 1) We are homeowners and have more space than we know what to do with so we fill it up with things that do nothing more than collect half-inches of dust at a time, or 2) we are DINKs. Ah yes, the Dual-Income, No-Kids life. We’re not spending money on diapers or college trust funds, braces or piano lessons. So instead, we buy stuff.

Anyone else?

-Julie.

Golfers, take notice! A short piece I wrote for RICH GUY on essential golf gadgets has been posted on the magazine’s site. Take a look at: http://www.richguy.com/luxury/lifestyle/magazine.php?car=LAND&id=Golf%20Gadgets&aid=100&page=1

If you need to hone your skills a bit or are just looking for cool new things to add to your bag, the products featured in the piece might be good additions.

Let me know what you think of them.

-Julie.

There’s been a lot of crazy weather activity here lately. It seems that barely a day has gone by this week without an electrical storm.

I actually quite enjoy watching storms pass over. The thunderclaps that make the house shake, the lightning that illuminates the whole street at 3 am, it all seems like some sort of special treat meant for me and my fellow storm-lovers.

(Hint: Tofino, on Vancouver Island’s west coast, is cashing in on storm watching. You can book vacation packages based on storms just as you can whale watching there. Definitely something I’d like to check out. Tofino in itself is great and I have been witness to smaller storms. I can only imagine what the larger ones are like. But I digress…)

With the odd weather lately has come equally intense skies. There’s something almost disturbing about storm skies. A mid-day sun will be wiped out in seconds; dark and ominous clouds taking its place.

To honor my beloved “weird” skies, I’ve decided to pay a photo-hommage to them. The following photos were taken at various places along my travels in the past year or so. If you would like to know more about one or another, let me know and I’ll give you the details!

-Julie.

(Zacatecas, Mexico)

(Cuastecomate, Mexico)

(Cuastecomate, Mexico)

(Near Telegraph Cove, B.C.)

(London, England)

(London, England)